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:: Videos are copyright their respective owners :: Design by: CssEllen Degeneres Videos
Currently Watching: Latest videos by theonion
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(Classified) Bill Defends Against Flesh-Eating (Classified) Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 106 seconds Rep. John Haller (R-PA) introduces a bill that will allocate (classified) dollars over the next (classified) years to fight flesh-eating (classified). More coverage at: http://www.onion.com Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment |
![The Onion: Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is \](http://img.youtube.com/vi/Hyph_DZa_GQ/2.jpg "The Onion: Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is \") |
The Onion: Supreme Court: Death Penalty Is 'Totally Badass' Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 182 seconds Despite arguments against capital punishment, the Justices overwhelmingly approved its use, especially if they get to participate in some executions. Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment Latest comments made on this video:
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The Onion: 12-Year-Old Boy Scouts Offer To Give Breast Exams Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 178 seconds Two prospective Eagle Scouts explain how they are preventing breast cancer by helping women examine their breasts. Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment Latest comments made on this video:
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The Onion: Pretend You Give A Shit About The Election Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 180 seconds Our morning show's political correspondent offers tips on how you can seem informed about politics without picking up a single newspaper. Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment Latest comments made on this video:
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The Onion: Disney Geneticists Debut New Child Stars Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 161 seconds Disney claims its latest batch of child stars is so lifelike, youll barely be able to tell they have no souls. Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment Latest comments made on this video:
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![YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A \](http://img.youtube.com/vi/X4dSsla-q6o/2.jpg "YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A \") |
YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A 'Good' Video Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 152 seconds YouTube is offering a cash prize to the first user to upload a video with a shred of originality or artistic merit. Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment Latest comments made on this video:
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The Onion: Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 08 Election Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 164 seconds Embarrassed Diebold officials apologized after one of their electronic voting machines prematurely revealed the winner of our upcoming sham election. More coverage at: http://onion.com Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment Latest comments made on this video:
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Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As President Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 195 seconds Voting machine DRE700 came out of nowhere to defeat Barack Obama and John McCain and become the first machine president. Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment Latest comments made on this video:
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Warcraft Sequel Lets You Play A Character Playing Warcraft Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 179 seconds World Of World Of Warcraft's amazing level of detail makes players feel like they are actually in a cramped, dark apartment playing World Of Warcraft. More coverage at: http://onion.com Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment Latest comments made on this video:
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In The Know: Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized? Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 198 seconds Panelists discuss whether Halloween candy and costumes have distracted us from placating demons to ensure a bountiful harvest. Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment Latest comments made on this video:
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Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Presidency Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 178 seconds President Bush will seek to comfort victims of his presidency as they try to make sense of the destruction he has caused. Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment Latest comments made on this video:
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Obama Win Causes Obsessed Backers To See How Empty Lives Are Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 168 seconds The revelation that Obama's candidacy was the only thing that gave their lives any meaning has caused many supporters to wander aimlessly, unsure of what to do with themselves. Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment Latest comments made on this video:
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Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 145 seconds For a majority of likely voters, meaningless bullshit will be the most important factor in deciding who they will vote for in 2008. More coverage at: http://onion.com Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment Latest comments made on this video:
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![The Onion: \](http://img.youtube.com/vi/Q_OIXfkXEj0/2.jpg "The Onion: \") |
The Onion: '9/11 Conspiracy Theories Ridiculous' - Al Qaeda Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 167 seconds An Al Qaeda representative says that claims the U.S. government was behind the attacks on Sept. 11th are demeaning to Al Qaeda. More coverage at: http://onion.com Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment Latest comments made on this video:
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Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Talk With Mike Greenman Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 225 seconds At a press conference today, the AGU announced it will not even acknowledge Mike Greenman until he begins dressing better and loses some weight. Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment Latest comments made on this video:
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The Onion: McCain Left On Campaign Bus Overnight Posted by: TheOnion
Video duration: 159 seconds Campaign officials downplayed the incident, saying the senator was fine as soon as he was fed and taken to the bathroom. Display Video Comments | Hide Video Comments | Add Comment Latest comments made on this video:
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Latest comments made on this video:
By: SirStangtheGreat. on 19 Nov 08, 05:06:48
hahhahaa thats priceless
By: LesPaulElitist. on 14 Nov 08, 16:28:36
That's classified
By: DiogoE6. on 14 Nov 08, 16:27:54
think of this as Resistance fall of man but exept we will be fighting very big aliens
By: ElOrnitorrinco. on 14 Nov 08, 02:27:30
Methinks you'd have to be pretty dense to not get the joke. "Flesh-eating" in both the title and in the clip rather give it away.
By: linfinster. on 13 Nov 08, 23:59:58
I too was a casual observer and fell for the sincerity these actors portray .. lol .. was a little PO'd at first too lolol but really, once you know all about it, it is so very good and funny .. and thought provoking. But it also goes to show you, amishmime, you really need to not be so .. classified .. ..
By: StopNWO11. on 12 Nov 08, 06:36:24
Fucking great LOL!! \m/ Could have been true ;)
By: HarbingerRomanus. on 11 Nov 08, 03:44:45
other than it being from the onion....
By: newearthnow. on 10 Nov 08, 09:48:27
for a moment i was thinking F**K i don't believe in weapons but if "flying flesh eating 'classifieds' that far surpass our darkest nightmares and have super strenght" show up some day i've got to get some weapons to be prepared, lol (thinks Onion for the momentary scare) :-)
By: animeownage86. on 07 Nov 08, 06:48:54
WERE ALL GONNA DIE!
By: barnsoldat91. on 05 Nov 08, 21:45:01
"New Bill of Rights shall be drafted by [classified]" ahahahaha
By: Kramllegdub. on 05 Nov 08, 04:39:28
what year was this bill passed so i can find if this guy was even in the house
By: amishmime. on 03 Nov 08, 11:38:11
I think this is irresponsible. There really is nothing other than subtle indications this may be fake. To the casual observer it appears to be legitimate, and cause for concern.
By: ipwnorcs. on 26 Oct 08, 23:59:00
RESIDENT EVIL....SIX!
By: ErnestMas. on 23 Oct 08, 04:57:29
he was lol!
By: 1Dianne1. on 19 Oct 08, 20:19:11
There is no representative John Haller. This is a spoof produced by The Onion.
By: smog282. on 19 Oct 08, 04:14:45
anyone who likes Cheney
By: aznthg27. on 18 Oct 08, 13:20:22
Guys when ever you get nervous just pretend its not real. This is fake that man was obvously a robot, his voice was dubbed in, and it wasn't a real courtroom OBVOUSLY HAHAHA Even though we are under martial law. By the way QUITE FUCKIN TALKIN ABOUT REPTILIANS YOU FUCKING IDIOTS THAT IS WHAT MAKES THE TRUTH MOVEMENT CRAZY FUCKIN RETARDS
By: Gnightwolf. on 15 Oct 08, 01:14:15
I don't think it would be approved, Who wants to vote on something that like 70% is classified?
By: driubi. on 10 Oct 08, 17:37:12
i've read them, and i'm still laughing so hard - their shit is funnier than this.
By: trentfarmer. on 10 Oct 08, 00:54:29
yes folks this is a fake haha lets all laugh about it. But then when u watch the clip from 1:10 to 1:13 you can clearly see it is not a fake but what he is actually saying. If you think this is fake look up fema deathcamps, reptilians, philip schneider and you won't be laughing so hard i gaurentee you. The very fact it was realised on the onion makes me think it was a ploy to make it look so laughable people would laugh it off...do the research people...martial law is coming..
By: ScottPlusThis. on 06 Oct 08, 07:14:52
Oh man, I nearly crapped my pants that was so hilarious!!!!!
By: justicetrooper. on 03 Oct 08, 01:00:28
I think he was describing a zombie attack, though. What with the airborne and stuff... or maybe I read the Resident Evil novels too much XD.
By: Neekstarrr. on 01 Oct 08, 14:42:16
no really?
By: EndTimeProphecy. on 30 Sep 08, 12:24:36
I agree.
By: jonathonraist. on 25 Sep 08, 14:09:14
What does it say above the U.S. flag?