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George Carlin - Euphemisms
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 568 seconds

From 'Doin' It Again' (1990)

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Latest comments made on this video:

Thanks, you're ...
By: TheArrgh. on 01 Dec 08, 21:24:27
Thanks, you're pretty unintentionally funny yourself. :D

It's really funny, ...
By: Reymond112386. on 01 Dec 08, 20:21:13
It's really funny, and is educational too, it's like a hilarious English class.

lol
By: Wdd4lif3. on 01 Dec 08, 16:13:28
lol

damn...carlin ...
By: Wdd4lif3. on 01 Dec 08, 16:06:44
damn...carlin walked the line didnt he? lol

Oh man, the ...
By: mencken. on 01 Dec 08, 07:04:09
Oh man, the unintentionally funny just crop up here with amazing frequency, don't they? Rock on, missy!

soo the one person ...
By: derkaderkastan420. on 01 Dec 08, 05:22:33
soo the one person who made sense of all issues in the US could not break any taboo? watch the rest of his stuff including back when he was clean in the 50;s and 60;s before you speak. you tell me he was not a comedian but yet you still not know. read history books and they'll tell you he was the father of modern comedy. hes in my government class textbook for Christ's sake.

Prove that you ...
By: TheArrgh. on 01 Dec 08, 04:49:33
Prove that you exist.

So...exactly why do ...
By: TheArrgh. on 01 Dec 08, 04:49:07
So...exactly why do you think George Carlin would GO to hell, assuming there was one? Especially since the typical definition of "hell" is based on a 30% sensible and 70% arbitrary code of behavior...the 30% being "don't kill people and shit like that" and the 70% being "X rule from Z religion about Y behavior that has no bearing on whether a person is actually good/bad (choose one.)" And why would his response be noteworthy? Person goes to hell, their likely reaction? "What a shithole."

shut the fuck up ...
By: ShadysBack123. on 30 Nov 08, 21:42:01
shut the fuck up cunt.

To Entschunder: ...
By: dictatordewy. on 29 Nov 08, 01:03:32
To Entschunder: FUCK YOU! George Carlin was a comical genius.

George Carlin is ...
By: dictatordewy. on 29 Nov 08, 01:00:56
George Carlin is irreplacable. I don't care what people say, Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia will NEVER be as funny as George Carlin. R.I.P George.

you do not know ...
By: TexasBroski. on 28 Nov 08, 17:31:36
you do not know funny.

ROFL unwilling ...
By: BLUE620. on 27 Nov 08, 05:18:16
ROFL unwilling sperm recipient.

go kill yourself
By: tiggleman2. on 27 Nov 08, 03:45:53
go kill yourself

how can you say that
By: brahag1234. on 27 Nov 08, 02:43:44
how can you say that

what is a whoe?
By: littlejuggalo18. on 27 Nov 08, 02:33:44
what is a whoe?

hahhaha ..lol
By: alexscorpion. on 26 Nov 08, 14:41:50
hahhaha ..lol

ugly people = ...
By: davidterrell. on 26 Nov 08, 06:39:14
ugly people = Severe Appearance Deficit omg datz so S.A.D lol

are you typing that ...
By: cooll6. on 25 Nov 08, 19:16:59
are you typing that message from your moms basement with your thumb up your ass stroking your ding dong listening to gay cook?

...only those ...
By: EroSennin6669. on 25 Nov 08, 09:37:41
...only those astute enough to understand.

...
By: elchris369. on 25 Nov 08, 05:47:50
boooooooooooooooooooo fuck dane cookfag

yes but they don't ...
By: Luc799. on 25 Nov 08, 02:33:01
yes but they don't have beer in heaven so where would you rather go huh? live your life with crazy rules for a party-less after life? or eternity of partying with every other awesome person that ever lived? aside from that, neither of those places exist, we'll all be worm food.

Ladies and ...
By: Luc799. on 25 Nov 08, 02:30:33
Ladies and gentlemen we have a dane cook fan. they dont understand comedy.

SUCK MY FUCKNG COCK ...
By: R1ckyGr4y. on 25 Nov 08, 02:09:16
SUCK MY FUCKNG COCK YOU BITCHASS WHOE

george was not even ...
By: Entschunder. on 24 Nov 08, 12:08:26
george was not even a comedian, he was doing political speeches sold as comedy. Glad that motherfucker is dead. he would not break ANY real taboo.

George Carlin - Children
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 421 seconds

From "You Are All Diseased" (1999)

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it's all true I was ...
By: colloredbrothers. on 01 Dec 08, 21:55:51
it's all true I was raised pretty "free" and if sometimes they didn't give me the freedom I made them give it to me. I think every parent needs to give the children space, It's good for the development

He was the only one ...
By: ffbhf. on 01 Dec 08, 14:38:31
He was the only one that could get away with this. I cant imagine any comedian today saying the stuff he said and gettin a laugh. Carlin was the best!

predicted the ...
By: redtagged. on 01 Dec 08, 01:51:40
predicted the reaction, not the event. comments like this make carlin fans and "conspiracy" believers appear delusional. anyone who wants to debate what i think you MEANT to say can officially *face palm* before they say anything.

holy shit he ...
By: deadly105. on 01 Dec 08, 01:18:08
holy shit he predicted the church shootings 2006 in colorado

"but it was hard to ...
By: billy8715345. on 30 Nov 08, 23:35:18
"but it was hard to understand because the narration was in GERMAN" XD

who cant give there ...
By: YouNoop. on 30 Nov 08, 14:43:40
who cant give there genes away are not fit...why do u think they are born like that ?:D for me is fit who can survive...and if u cant give ur genes u cant survive :D as humanity..u selfish bitch..survive doesnt means only u survive...

"Fuck the children" ...
By: OzzyFan87. on 30 Nov 08, 03:54:40
"Fuck the children" lol

lmao. fuck ...
By: XxilikesoupxX. on 30 Nov 08, 01:02:50
lmao. fuck children.

he's foul-mouthed. ...
By: manofmishap. on 29 Nov 08, 20:27:51
he's foul-mouthed. he's also frickin' funny

@anarksee Guns will ...
By: ScissorHand26. on 29 Nov 08, 05:20:40
@anarksee Guns will be used everywhere at some point or another, what he said was pretty logical. I don't think it was that surprising or prophetic though, just sensible.

@YouNoop Not ...
By: ScissorHand26. on 29 Nov 08, 05:19:38
@YouNoop Not because they are not fit dumbass, just cuz they aren't giving their genes away. Actually that could hurt us as a whole, we could lose some very good combination's of genetic code.

stfu...gays are not ...
By: YouNoop. on 28 Nov 08, 10:49:24
stfu...gays are not fit :) he says the fittest survives...gay cant...cuz they wont give there genes...cuz they fuck ass LOL

word up!
By: Mintroyale69. on 28 Nov 08, 10:19:56
word up!

Fuck the Children ...
By: samuraiyao. on 28 Nov 08, 02:12:33
Fuck the Children for me too George. Legalize gay marriage and Pot...

George was a ...
By: anarksee. on 26 Nov 08, 10:54:39
George was a prophet;guns in churches.O.O

Goddamn, I can't ...
By: creepsomber. on 26 Nov 08, 08:23:03
Goddamn, I can't believe he's gone. I always thought he was the best, when everyone always disagreed with me, saying that Eddie Murphy or Richard Pryor was the best. They are great, but none have achieved the level George Carlin has.

I totally agree ...
By: variableveracity. on 25 Nov 08, 22:05:16
I totally agree with you Mequellios :) We miss you George. One of the few who spoke the truth!

DISGRUNTLED ...
By: monkeypaw666. on 25 Nov 08, 06:09:32
DISGRUNTLED WORSHIPPERS ADVANCE

"If you wanna know ...
By: Mequellios. on 25 Nov 08, 03:22:28
"If you wanna know how to help your children, leave them the fuck ALONE!" Finally, an adult who gets it. Why is it that the best would-be parents never have children?

'whatever happened ...
By: slantedeskimo. on 24 Nov 08, 21:29:33
'whatever happened to natural selection? the kid who swallows too many marbles doesn't grow up to have kids of his own.' 'grownups have taken all the fun out of being a kid just to save a few thousand lives.' carlin was hilarious, if you're a carlin hater, then stop watching his videos, and stop commenting

well he is an ...
By: RavenBlaze. on 24 Nov 08, 21:18:31
well he is an atheist, so hell does not exsist to him, so he's either rotting in a box, or his assses are sitting somewhere.

as long as it's not ...
By: RavenBlaze. on 24 Nov 08, 21:17:34
as long as it's not in a pedophilic way, lol!

I agree George " ...
By: v1mattitude. on 24 Nov 08, 14:45:25
I agree George "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"

rot in hell
By: Entschunder. on 24 Nov 08, 12:10:37
rot in hell

Yes, precisely. ...
By: anhacus. on 24 Nov 08, 03:47:04
Yes, precisely. There's also an obnoxious commercial tendency to either exalt or demonize any particular issue in the U.S. Very extreme processes. Most intelligent people would try to reason out the great gray area responsible for everyday mundane living, in the process making life better for everyone. Instead, there is a ubiquitous alienation/frustration process that disenfranchises millions, creating overt hostility.

George Carlin - Expressions and Sayings
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 556 seconds

From 'Back To Town' (1996)

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Latest comments made on this video:

GET THE FUCK OUTTA ...
By: GeorgeCarlinKICKSAZZ. on 02 Dec 08, 00:24:27
GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!

george carlin is ...
By: BiggLA9. on 01 Dec 08, 04:51:06
george carlin is better than sliced bread. he takes the cake hah.

what book?
By: EpsilonMK12. on 01 Dec 08, 00:58:05
what book?

GET THE FUCK OUTTA ...
By: KyleVokes6. on 30 Nov 08, 08:07:49
GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE!!!

Nig blut flarny ...
By: drawkcaBForward. on 30 Nov 08, 05:01:02
Nig blut flarny quando floo.

But not quite fully ...
By: Annieogirl. on 29 Nov 08, 23:41:06
But not quite fully Fine and Dandy

tubeless.
By: Brouf7. on 29 Nov 08, 03:53:02
tubeless.

What's so special ...
By: Albimar17. on 28 Nov 08, 06:21:07
What's so special about sliced bread? You've got a knife, you've got bread - SLICE THE FUCKING THING!!! What a hilarious video! Makes me feel "more than happy" :P.

My earth & space ...
By: xKasee. on 28 Nov 08, 02:11:27
My earth & space science teacher always tells us to put things in our own words, and I don't care how much trouble that gets me in, I'm going to say that. hahaha.

Good sense, real ...
By: Bondomusic. on 27 Nov 08, 17:04:13
Good sense, real good sense.

'...you know when ...
By: slantedeskimo. on 26 Nov 08, 21:17:56
'...you know when your father gets home he's gonna read you the riot act.' 'tell him i already read it. and i didn't like it either, i consider it wordy and poorly thought out. he wants to read me somthin how bout the gentlemen's guide to the golden age of blowjobs.' thats brilliant

Even in his "clean" ...
By: Andragon90. on 26 Nov 08, 02:27:16
Even in his "clean" comedy stints, he's still funny as hell. RIP.

Really. He Makes Me ...
By: Brqwerty. on 24 Nov 08, 22:44:09
Really. He Makes Me fell fine. Almost dandy. Very close. In the area of Dandiness.

the IRA? look it ...
By: sarahewright9. on 24 Nov 08, 04:32:10
the IRA? look it up? how 'bout you look it up- the IRA is the Irish Republican Army. i think you're talking about the IRS, or the Internal Revenue Service. big difference.

I feel sorry for ...
By: geridionarus. on 24 Nov 08, 01:30:06
I feel sorry for you.. george is not god damned.. and hey.. w3ho are you to say so?? ever heard about casting stones and glass houses ??? we all find god one way or another.. and it does not make a fricking difference of your origins.. race or nationality..g´s mom dont blame him

George Carlin makes ...
By: hotjoe300. on 21 Nov 08, 22:56:10
George Carlin makes me feel Dandy but not quite Fine......

I just thought of ...
By: neverear. on 21 Nov 08, 01:21:16
I just thought of something funny that goes along with the taxes part on this! IRS is on your ass Just say it like a song, it sounds funny!

My mouth is hurting ...
By: NothingButLetters. on 20 Nov 08, 11:11:05
My mouth is hurting from all of the laughing...

nik glok flak ...
By: Bazgann. on 17 Nov 08, 21:56:43
nik glok flak blademi bloooo :D

taxes come out apri ...
By: josie2112p. on 15 Nov 08, 21:41:10
taxes come out apri 15th...they send us a booklet "where to stick it" referring to stick the dick up your ass...meaning they are taxing us and controlling us.........

yes he means that ...
By: josie2112p. on 15 Nov 08, 21:40:10
yes he means that the government is sticking a big dick up our asses because of taxes..which is on april 15th.....and he commonly referrs to the government "sticking a dick up our asses" because they bullshit us into believing things they say and they control us by that

I think you mean " ...
By: Crystalkestrel. on 15 Nov 08, 16:37:48
I think you mean "IRS".

the april 15th joke ...
By: scottbpt. on 15 Nov 08, 12:23:47
the april 15th joke, refers to the start of the tax filling process...im mostly sure, thats what he meant

i didnt get the ...
By: jakamneziak. on 15 Nov 08, 09:58:00
i didnt get the april 15th joke either (then again im british and i only discovered this genius form a mate who told me he had died. Can anyone explain that one to me please?

Globe Trekker 2 is ...
By: DAazEdd. on 15 Nov 08, 06:00:04
Globe Trekker 2 is retarted. Are you to thik you are going to change the perception, of people watching a god damned George Carlin video let them find god in there own time or not i dont give a shit. But damn your making people like my who is a christian look like a fucking dumbass. Sorry for people like him not all people who believe in god are retarted, but mostly just want the same peace you do. Just while we are at it we look for god aswell, Waisting perfectly good time if we didnt.

George Carlin - Free-floating Hostility
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 656 seconds

From 'Back To Town' (1996)

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lol "The Good Lord ...
By: GeorgeCarlinKICKSAZZ. on 02 Dec 08, 00:30:50
lol "The Good Lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage"

put on a hat and go ...
By: GeorgeCarlinKICKSAZZ. on 02 Dec 08, 00:27:28
put on a hat and go to work you shallow cunt.

Fuck Micky Mouse!
By: khatkhataXD. on 01 Dec 08, 03:27:59
Fuck Micky Mouse!

This has to be one ...
By: corona0707. on 30 Nov 08, 03:47:54
This has to be one of carlins best 10 min. of all his recorded material not to mention this entire album

haha yeah. i luv ...
By: 0toHero. on 28 Nov 08, 17:13:51
haha yeah. i luv mickey, but C'MON people!

wait, you actually ...
By: malkrow21. on 28 Nov 08, 08:05:48
wait, you actually "meet" before?

Hahahah, the brown ...
By: xKasee. on 28 Nov 08, 05:54:54
Hahahah, the brown ribbon is actually anti-tobacco. This man should've been immortal. xD

....the best guy I ...
By: u2nick. on 27 Nov 08, 17:14:00
....the best guy I ever meet.

i was unmotivated ...
By: Mokenofrs. on 26 Nov 08, 03:30:18
i was unmotivated in school so i was sent to a motivational meeting...i was however motivated enough to fight off a few teachers

I can't breath.... ...
By: Pizzalatv. on 25 Nov 08, 20:38:36
I can't breath....dam....didn't laugh so hard since...ever

Jesus that mickey ...
By: tofster666. on 25 Nov 08, 11:27:09
Jesus that mickey mouse speech, haven't laughed that hard in an age.

'...you're white, ...
By: slantedeskimo. on 24 Nov 08, 21:42:27
'...you're white, and you're lame, its a fuckin law of nature' hilarious, and before i get replied to, i'm white, so relax

any white guy over ...
By: yinyangdynasty. on 24 Nov 08, 20:57:18
any white guy over ten years old who wear their hats backwards.

"Fuck Mickey Mouse ...
By: GRAV3R0T. on 24 Nov 08, 08:12:33
"Fuck Mickey Mouse in the asshole with a big rubber dick! Then break it in half and beat him with the rest of it."

"i have no ...
By: happybassist. on 24 Nov 08, 03:09:42
"i have no emotional state in panda fucking" lmao

could you get a ...
By: sbrillf2. on 24 Nov 08, 01:47:04
could you get a hard on if some guy with a green tee shirt and a stop watch was taking your girlfriend's rectal temperature?

"Put on a hat and ...
By: slavantiquity. on 20 Nov 08, 16:06:55
"Put on a hat and go to work, you shallow cunt!" Lol

...with his hand in ...
By: ThePsychoReturns. on 19 Nov 08, 09:09:25
...with his hand in Goofy's pants...

lol his expressions ...
By: superustipak. on 16 Nov 08, 14:59:07
lol his expressions and body movements are so good

FUK mickey
By: htezerdi. on 16 Nov 08, 00:18:27
FUK mickey

I like that water ...
By: slavantiquity. on 15 Nov 08, 20:13:52
I like that water part xD It's so funny how he's walking around.

Sorry to break the ...
By: bixby1982. on 15 Nov 08, 13:33:20
Sorry to break the news to you but then you are one of those dumbass cunts George is talking about lol But it was fun reading your superlame statement, your kids will be proud :D

WOOOOOOOOW
By: slavantiquity. on 15 Nov 08, 12:23:31
WOOOOOOOOW

I know a lot of ...
By: York22. on 12 Nov 08, 23:10:01
I know a lot of guys who like in college like me and in high school who like wearing their baseball caps backwards. I do it too. Some of my friends it looks better on them backwards.

R.I.P. There goes ...
By: knoxutc. on 11 Nov 08, 13:14:21
R.I.P. There goes another great mind...

George Carlin - Sports
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 605 seconds

George Carlin's ideas about sports (1986)

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Latest comments made on this video:

i agree with ...
By: yumbun314. on 01 Dec 08, 21:37:54
i agree with everthing he said, but hockey is realy fun to play and watch

i like baseball, ...
By: sydgrimes. on 28 Nov 08, 07:27:51
i like baseball, but he had some really good ideas to speed it up, eg land mines in the outfield, thatd be interesting

cause it's funny, ...
By: watchmyvideos22. on 27 Nov 08, 00:20:51
cause it's funny, dumbass

4:55 - 5:40 LMFAO
By: DaFlyinSkwirl. on 25 Nov 08, 06:11:30
4:55 - 5:40 LMFAO

i get more excited ...
By: SootAlista7ala. on 25 Nov 08, 06:08:44
i get more excited picking out socks then watching golf LOOOoOol, true said

everybody that ...
By: slantedeskimo. on 24 Nov 08, 21:49:59
everybody that comments on this dissecting carlin's analyzation of sports vs. nonsports needs to relax. he was a comedian, logic is often suspended for jokes to work effectively.afterall this clip is from a standup routine, not a commentary from a sports editorialist or historian, so calm down.

This is from the ...
By: 160newcrossroad. on 23 Nov 08, 10:29:23
This is from the HBO "Playing with your Brain", Buy the "All my Stuff" collection, other than his last few months it has all his stuff, about 16 hours of it. Worth every penny. Amazing how many people take Carlin so seriously, no-one escapes from his humour, not even himself.

you overthought that
By: SteveDeathbat. on 22 Nov 08, 23:08:24
you overthought that

its comedy..
By: YouNoop. on 22 Nov 08, 20:24:21
its comedy..

Why would he say ...
By: BootlegBill2. on 22 Nov 08, 02:46:19
Why would he say any ball with dots on the ball is not a sport? no dots on the ball for soccer and a basketball has dots? Why would he make basketball with a 2 second clock, and then make these other rules for basketball if nothing would be able to be done with just a 2 second clock?

anything that is ...
By: coolplayer3210. on 19 Nov 08, 19:30:06
anything that is competition its a sport look at the dictionairy youl see :P

who would like to ...
By: tiby2403. on 19 Nov 08, 14:21:42
who would like to watch nascar for the sport ? they're only taking a left turn :|

Um sir, your a ...
By: nerdfighter78. on 17 Nov 08, 22:47:04
Um sir, your a dipshit. Canada has football, hockey, lacrosse, and many other sports but those are the big three.

yea but were the ...
By: swpmike511. on 17 Nov 08, 18:17:34
yea but were the only country that has good football players.....canada needs to stick to hockey

yeah carlin only ...
By: COBIM666. on 16 Nov 08, 19:34:35
yeah carlin only likes watching nascar for the crashes haha!! u would too... =P

ummmmm the usa ...
By: funforfem101. on 16 Nov 08, 08:20:47
ummmmm the usa arent the only countries that play football, canada and europe play United States football so how about you go fuck yourself you ignorant jackass

So, did he think ...
By: Asylum31. on 16 Nov 08, 07:45:42
So, did he think auto-racing was a sport? He seemed to take a favorable stance towards it because of the wrecks.

sorry dude, couldnt ...
By: bixby1982. on 15 Nov 08, 13:35:16
sorry dude, couldnt give you a thumbs down, i happen to agree with you... oh well, im still giving you a thumbs down just for shits and giggles :D

he never mentioned ...
By: aminysunshine. on 13 Nov 08, 19:29:18
he never mentioned wrestling, and he never really made fun of gymnastics, but i like it.

I agree with him ...
By: tokiwartooth09. on 13 Nov 08, 17:39:02
I agree with him with La Crose. it is a faggot college sport

bite me
By: brentlay12. on 11 Nov 08, 21:37:39
bite me

dude ur taking ...
By: MarylandJuly89. on 11 Nov 08, 19:27:21
dude ur taking george carlin way too seriously.... I kno that most of his stand ups are serious, but in this one he's only joking around.... everyone knows all the things he said were actual sports but ur the only one who fucking PMS over it. god damn dude calm ur dumbass down

and your just a ...
By: brentlay12. on 11 Nov 08, 18:29:32
and your just a dumbass? how is football a sport anyway? just because the usa says it is? what other sport looks like everytime you start a play your sodomizing your teammates? all football players must be gay and the people that watch it must love watching dudes grab eachothers asses HAHAHA FAGS..i hope more people give me thumbs down its funnier that way

is suckin cock to ...
By: brentlay12. on 11 Nov 08, 18:25:40
is suckin cock to hitchhike a sport? youd be world champion if it is...go play with some balls dooshbag

nope...the old fuck ...
By: tegoy666. on 11 Nov 08, 02:22:48
nope...the old fuck says it's not a sport..so it isn't...so go fuck yourself dumbass

George Carlin - American double standard
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 521 seconds

From 'What Am I Doing In New Jersey" (1988)

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Latest comments made on this video:

I agree with you ...
By: empbac. on 28 Nov 08, 06:26:28
I agree with you completely. I think the people he's talking about though only want guns because they consider it a way for them to take and hold onto power. They want force on their side. (Many of them are hicks as well.) The elite want guns for THEMSELVES, not for the people. Fair is fair, if they get them, so should everyone else. Government regulation is a bad thing, period.

PURE AND UTTER ...
By: ThisScreen4Rent. on 27 Nov 08, 22:51:04
PURE AND UTTER INDIFATIGABLE GENIUS!

Stupid yanks never ...
By: jme74mx. on 27 Nov 08, 08:42:39
Stupid yanks never learn.

they mostly just ...
By: g0thb0y666. on 23 Nov 08, 19:35:34
they mostly just raided them.

ah yes, the great ...
By: iyequertu54. on 21 Nov 08, 17:50:27
ah yes, the great double standard. economic freedom, social monarchy.

id vote for him ...
By: 6marilyn6mans0n6. on 21 Nov 08, 04:51:17
id vote for him instead of obama or mccain

I love George, and ...
By: KookyKosmos. on 20 Nov 08, 20:38:01
I love George, and rarely disagree with what he has to say. With that said, when the government tries to ban guns from the populace, and if they succeed in doing so, I would say this is when the shit has officially hit the fan. I don't use weapons, and don't particularly care for them. But if tyrrany comes marching down my street, you better fuckin' believe I'm exercising my right to bear arms...for both your and my sake...

tax the churches... ...
By: velvetforest3. on 14 Nov 08, 05:46:48
tax the churches... GOOD FUCKING IDEA!

Damn, that guy will ...
By: boxofdrums. on 09 Nov 08, 17:51:08
Damn, that guy will be missed.

RIP Sadly missed. A ...
By: flangelet. on 09 Nov 08, 15:59:55
RIP Sadly missed. A true american genius.

Weren't vikings ...
By: okkima. on 08 Nov 08, 12:54:12
Weren't vikings like pirates, small minority that did bad things. They weren't doing wars against anyones, they just stealed for themselves using violence and the difference is they dressed in fur(because it was cold) and weared helms with horns.

Didn't the Vikings ...
By: Lukachicago19. on 08 Nov 08, 04:17:16
Didn't the Vikings used to invade other countries. Williams The Conquerer in 1066, and what about the Swedes flooding central Europe with their Armies in the 17th century.

When churches such ...
By: onestoutmanfilms. on 08 Nov 08, 00:20:02
When churches such as the Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints (Mormons) take an active roll in government such as convincing the members to re-write the constitution, or when they take an active roll in development (Salt Lake City Utah Downtown Project) THEY SHOULD BE TAXED! Take away their tax-exempt status.

Our version is ...
By: ThePsychoReturns. on 07 Nov 08, 13:49:36
Our version is better, anyways.

The French version ...
By: funnyfarm1982. on 07 Nov 08, 04:02:59
The French version of O Canada (the original) mentions weapons. The English version mentions standing on guard.

Its a vague and ...
By: mewshkin. on 05 Nov 08, 21:03:45
Its a vague and subjective thing, but Germany is often considered north european (Prussia is, at least); my own island is in the North Sea and is one of the most vicious countries in history; and the vikings were of course Scandinavian. You also have to consider how much distance distorts - we easily call all americans "yanks", why should we be surprised if all europeans are nazis and barbarians when comedic effect demands it? Great video though :)

taxing the churches ...
By: tylerMusicMan. on 05 Nov 08, 09:27:00
taxing the churches would really help some of our financial problems

the prolife mother ...
By: Mokenofrs. on 04 Nov 08, 22:45:37
the prolife mother fuckers SAVE the BABIES SO KILL the DOCTORS.......not very LIFE like?

damn, we should TAX ...
By: MarylandJuly89. on 04 Nov 08, 21:13:02
damn, we should TAX the churches. no bull shit

Northern european ...
By: okkima. on 03 Nov 08, 19:10:22
Northern european genes... Man, first time I disagree with this man, the north europe is the least warlike people (sweden, norway, finland), we had 0 wars started in our history. How much do french, germans and other mid-europe countries have?

George Carlin is ...
By: marquisxdesade. on 01 Nov 08, 09:45:07
George Carlin is great, probably one of the best comedians ever. Until a few months ago I never heard of him, I keep on hearing people mentioning his name on other videos, so I decided to find out who this bloke was, and I'm glad I did. I wished I had heard of him sooner.

America is Tyranny
By: Tailas444. on 30 Oct 08, 21:16:46
America is Tyranny

Free America from ...
By: ironlamb. on 28 Oct 08, 07:08:40
Free America from tyranny.

oh wow.. that's the ...
By: socgeo. on 28 Oct 08, 02:10:47
oh wow.. that's the most blunt, most truthful summary of american history i've ever heard..

I love George Carlin
By: Sshelly34213. on 25 Oct 08, 23:39:51
I love George Carlin

George Carlin - Abortion
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 459 seconds

From 'Back To Town' (1996)

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Latest comments made on this video:

we should cook ...
By: kuningaskosmos. on 01 Dec 08, 14:17:15
we should cook aborted babies. then just sell it as pork. no one would notice the difference and we wouldn't waste good food!

I think he was just ...
By: Phorann. on 30 Nov 08, 07:07:09
I think he was just kinda doing an estimation or just said that to keep the comedy going.

Go play hide and ...
By: run41. on 29 Nov 08, 18:10:03
Go play hide and seek on your own; You hide, nobody searches. There.

sex deprived idiots
By: renaissance21wiseguy. on 28 Nov 08, 09:32:02
sex deprived idiots

so true! lol
By: Pethrus92. on 25 Nov 08, 15:42:52
so true! lol

What do you mean ...
By: Love9sick. on 25 Nov 08, 08:48:06
What do you mean forget? It is a very funny lesson on life. Pro lifers are idiots.

how bout u go play ...
By: derkaderkastan420. on 21 Nov 08, 02:36:35
how bout u go play hide and go fuck yourself. u have one good point and thats your last sentence. other than that ur acting like any bible beating cock smoker ive ever met. go give ur priest his blow job.

Damn, you are a ...
By: PeterTheEvilBastard. on 20 Nov 08, 22:43:59
Damn, you are a dumb, ignorant and presumptuous dick, like most americans I've met. You know, I think you are a tumor, and I'm going to shoot you on sight, becouse I believe that you become a person at the age of 20. You think otherwise? It doesen't look like this from where you are standing at? Well WHAT THE FUCK DO I CARE? Btw, I'm not pro- life in the american (read- fucking dumb) sense, I think that in some instances, like rape, threat to life or severe disfigurement abortion is justified.

Sometimes I forget ...
By: Pethrus92. on 20 Nov 08, 18:27:51
Sometimes I forget this is comedy, I sometimes think that this is a very funny lesson on life

go back into your ...
By: killthestone. on 18 Nov 08, 21:01:37
go back into your hole until you are told to come out. one minor point = your dick

haha wow i've been ...
By: auntieshelby. on 17 Nov 08, 01:03:13
haha wow i've been a serial killer since i was fuckin 13 jeez i seriously need to go to jail

thanks dood^^
By: Veetothejay. on 16 Nov 08, 13:51:29
thanks dood^^

that was to ...
By: derkaderkastan420. on 16 Nov 08, 06:19:34
that was to veetothejay btw. hes intelligent

you are the only ...
By: derkaderkastan420. on 16 Nov 08, 06:17:18
you are the only dipshit posting here that makes any god damn sense. all these ppl are ignorant because it isnt alive yet. flat out untill the second trimester its like a fucking tumor you fucking pricks. i hope some prolife women get raped by mexicans. then theyll see wether or not an abortion should happen.

hmmm ray pissed u ...
By: derkaderkastan420. on 16 Nov 08, 06:12:33
hmmm ray pissed u guys off. leave him be cuz abortion has equal positives and negatives. id rather a crack baby be stopped before "it's" heart actually starts beating (second trimester usually which is when you cannot get an abortion) then watch as the government looses money in paying for their moms crack money and its time in an orfanage. disadvantages= a life lossed. think about it before you speak really.

nerd
By: htezerdi. on 16 Nov 08, 00:33:00
nerd

u guys ever ...
By: tcmillwork. on 15 Nov 08, 11:15:26
u guys ever consider the possibility that ray may be trolling you and doing quite a nice job of it

he is wrong on one ...
By: jakamneziak. on 15 Nov 08, 10:04:06
he is wrong on one minor point. Life began THREE billion years ago with the stromatalites, not the 1 billion years that he claims. Other than that he epeaks common sense and has a justifiable opinion which even if you disagree with you cannot say he has an unreasonable opinion with no reasoning behind him. Fair play!

I used to get upset ...
By: oldfatfreddie. on 14 Nov 08, 23:20:40
I used to get upset by the abortion issue until I realized that the only people getting them were liberals! Hey, self-exterminate see what I care!

ray .. why don't ...
By: FizzyWodawg. on 14 Nov 08, 00:23:09
ray .. why don't you just keep on killin babyes on the bathroom wall and shut the fuck up.. or better yet suffocate them on a condome ... you see that's not different from an abortion... Peace ! hope you got my point !

I'm mexican...
By: tehUBERn00blet. on 11 Nov 08, 22:57:26
I'm mexican...

then dont have a ...
By: ray87878. on 11 Nov 08, 22:48:01
then dont have a baby nigger

A baby is pretty ...
By: tehUBERn00blet. on 11 Nov 08, 18:44:42
A baby is pretty costly to take care of dumbfuck.

wow, perfect name ...
By: TokioHotelRockerXXX. on 10 Nov 08, 13:05:31
wow, perfect name for this vid/discussion

Wow, you are one ...
By: Dumpsterbaby1991. on 09 Nov 08, 17:25:16
Wow, you are one ignorant fuck.

Louis C.K. - Having Kids
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 497 seconds

From 'Shameless' (2007)

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Latest comments made on this video:

Bill what's your ...
By: dannychamp. on 27 Nov 08, 02:14:59
Bill what's your problem?

lmfao. funniest ...
By: skillzlikeal. on 17 Nov 08, 06:39:14
lmfao. funniest stand up i have ever seen in my life. "look at this shit" "Her face would be decimated" LOL

shit
By: Defucijus. on 14 Nov 08, 00:20:05
shit

omg that was the ...
By: GarrettKeetley. on 13 Nov 08, 06:15:32
omg that was the funniest thing ever! i about died laughing

haha, maddox rocks
By: JMPiazza17. on 06 Nov 08, 06:27:07
haha, maddox rocks

Treu but cruel.
By: dcmiltown. on 05 Nov 08, 00:56:28
Treu but cruel.

Louis CK totally ...
By: 0rcryst. on 04 Nov 08, 07:44:01
Louis CK totally reminds me of Maddox in this clip.

fuck i hate it when ...
By: msa1985. on 26 Oct 08, 03:47:38
fuck i hate it when comedians use their material everywhere i heard the spread eagle joke on OandA. just annoying

CRULE BUT TRUE
By: TheJoeyJordison666. on 11 Oct 08, 10:57:50
CRULE BUT TRUE

lmfao "maybe she ...
By: xxRATM14xx. on 09 Oct 08, 02:28:44
lmfao "maybe she hates fucking jews"

What's you're baby ...
By: jd1060. on 07 Oct 08, 11:18:52
What's you're baby like? She's a fucking baby

easily. so fucking ...
By: wsoccer1. on 23 Sep 08, 01:14:23
easily. so fucking funny

This is part of the ...
By: OboxerU. on 21 Sep 08, 03:23:29
This is part of the reason why I don't want kids.

Yes, quite ' ...
By: Deathwyng. on 17 Sep 08, 07:31:54
Yes, quite 'Beautifel.' Also, Beautiful.

This is easily one ...
By: EvilSky55. on 07 Sep 08, 22:09:24
This is easily one of the funniest pieces of stand up ever !!

Beautifel
By: DutchDude90. on 05 Sep 08, 18:03:05
Beautifel

super funny!! love ...
By: pinkkc80. on 03 Sep 08, 21:07:52
super funny!! love it

Louis C.K. is ...
By: AbbieKat05. on 02 Sep 08, 08:03:38
Louis C.K. is AMAZING!!! LOL!!!!!

..She's this fuckin ...
By: me2910. on 02 Sep 08, 01:49:07
..She's this fuckin' big! If i hit her, do you think she'd have a black eye? Look at this, i'd fuckin RUIN her head! lmfao! he is really funny!

aw man, for once... ...
By: NewDarkAges13. on 01 Sep 08, 02:55:11
aw man, for once... a good comedian shares his true feelings for his kids lol! man i love CK!!!!!!!!!!

funniest thing I ...
By: qeijkak. on 30 Aug 08, 21:28:44
funniest thing I have seen in a long time, I had tears rolling down my face. brightened the hell out of my day.

this one is the ...
By: xenoalex. on 29 Aug 08, 13:32:52
this one is the best.

She got fired from ...
By: Alavanderos. on 14 Aug 08, 14:04:22
She got fired from target, and she's having an abortion. Lol. Ck Is God.

She got fired from ...
By: Alavanderos. on 14 Aug 08, 14:00:38
She got fired from target....and she's having an abortion, rofl.

LOL. Ain't ...
By: zaRodina. on 11 Aug 08, 09:52:38
LOL. Ain't fatherhood beautiful?

Louis C.K. - Random Hatred (The Awesome Possum Shirt)
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 392 seconds

From 'Shameless' (2007)

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George Carlin - Driving
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 576 seconds

From 'On Campus' (1984)

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George Carlin - On Losing Things
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 562 seconds

From 'Playing With Your Head' (1986)

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George Carlin - On Death And Dying
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 640 seconds

From 'Again!' (1978)

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Louis C.K. - Gay Marriage
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 162 seconds

From 'Shameless' (2007)

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Faith No More @ Phoenix Festival (UK, 07-20-97)
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 340 seconds

'Just A Man'

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George Carlin - Patriotic And Religious Bullshit
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 474 seconds

From 'It's Bad For Ya' (2008)

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Mr. Show - Pre-taped call in show
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 237 seconds

Great skit from one of the best comedy shows ever.

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Chris Cornell - What You Are (Amsterdam, 2007)
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 268 seconds

Chris Cornell and his band play Audioslave's 'What You Are' at the Melkweg (Amsterdam, May 22, 2007)

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Foo Fighters - The Pretender (Live, 02-20-08)
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 309 seconds

From the album 'Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace' (2007)

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George Carlin - Child Worship
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 600 seconds

From 'It's Bad For Ya' (2008)

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Chris Cornell @ PersonalFest (BAS, Argentina, 12-08-2007)
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 259 seconds

'Hunger Strike'

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Morrissey - You Have Killed Me (HMH Amsterdam)
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 179 seconds

Morrissey's performance of "You Have Killed Me".
Heineken Music Hall, Amsterdam
December 20, 2006

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Chris Cornell @ Espacio Riesco (SCL, Chile, 12-10-2007)
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 283 seconds

'I Put A Spell On You - Billy Jean' (Acoustic)

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Faith No More @ Phoenix Festival (UK, 07-20-97)
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 203 seconds

'Midlife Crisis'

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Morrissey - Girlfriend In A Coma (HMH Amsterdam)
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 142 seconds

Title says it all.
HMH, Dec 20, 2006.

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George Carlin - Swearing On The Bible And The Bill Of Rights
Posted by: pmh2k3

Video duration: 570 seconds

From 'It's Bad For Ya' (2008)

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Latest comments made on this video:

da man speaks so ...
By: HisRoyalJaznness. on 30 Nov 08, 22:51:22
da man speaks so much truth

carlin is gone... ...
By: spongebob12365. on 27 Nov 08, 04:05:02
carlin is gone...it's as simple as that...hes not on a island with elvis and the tooth fary he is gone...it's sad. He was an intelligent man and I wish he could have stayed longer but his time came. He was the best comedian ever and will always be the best. Geroge R.I.P

this is an awesome ...
By: insinificante000. on 22 Nov 08, 00:36:52
this is an awesome old man!!

rofl lol
By: Shakiamuny. on 22 Nov 08, 00:08:15
rofl lol

because most of the ...
By: Shakiamuny. on 22 Nov 08, 00:05:59
because most of the population believes in god, most of the world believe in a lie I burned bibles and nothing happened to me, and they say it is all about faith so believe in anything you want with faith and it will be real, believe in me rofl

he's talking about ...
By: xcfitzx. on 17 Nov 08, 02:55:08
he's talking about god and the bible because he is making fun of how stupid the people who believe in god and the bible are. and there is nothing funnier than people who believe in god and the bible. haha, what a joke

Never-mind god, I ...
By: absentmindednik. on 15 Nov 08, 08:01:32
Never-mind god, I worship Carlin.

to make fun of ...
By: TheGreatKevin465. on 11 Nov 08, 19:41:44
to make fun of people who believe in stupid customs... you asshole. Carlin is immortal

if "GOD" doesn't ...
By: arnaldoachu. on 07 Nov 08, 18:59:18
if "GOD" doesn't exist (according to Carlin) why this stupid old man is speaking about GOD and the Bible...!! what an idiot..I am glad he is dead!!!

Everybody ...
By: mrwall2005. on 07 Nov 08, 05:12:26
Everybody complaining about Obama not touching the bible should see this.

"Suppose they hand ...
By: sammiefranchise. on 30 Oct 08, 07:56:52
"Suppose they hand you an upside down backward chinese brail bible with half of the pages missing." LMFAO!!!! I seriously cannot get old of this!!

I'll tell you about ...
By: lonewolf906. on 25 Oct 08, 11:01:45
I'll tell you about as much truth as the people who wrote that fucking bible. gotta love his stuff.

"I'll tell you as ...
By: peterconn. on 14 Oct 08, 21:49:01
"I'll tell you as much truth as the people who wrote that fucking bible." RIP Carlin [2]

"I'll tell you as ...
By: taxmonkey123. on 09 Oct 08, 23:07:39
"I'll tell you as much truth as the people who wrote that fucking bible." RIP Carlin

I'd take George ...
By: whitecollarcriminal. on 23 Sep 08, 21:14:33
I'd take George Carlin over RON PAUL, JOHN MCCAIN, that fuckin AIRHEAD Palin and BUSh, cheney and every other scumbag republican.

Thank you, George. ...
By: OrmEmber. on 10 Sep 08, 08:53:34
Thank you, George. I never got to say that to you in person. Now we are left with the fanatics and wackos who think that freethinkers & questioners of faith go to hell, while zealots and close-minded cretins go to heaven. And that is why this country is sliding towards hell... on Earth.

Carlin is god! ...
By: TheFlST. on 07 Sep 08, 19:50:21
Carlin is god! He'll be back. =]

Firstly: Swearing ...
By: papageenz. on 11 Aug 08, 08:07:28
Firstly: Swearing on the bible is a man made traditional irrational piece of hog wash. Secondly: If anyone read the bible they would find the bible teaches NOT TO SWEAR ON ANYTHING!!!

"Yeah, I'll tell ...
By: Necros21. on 06 Aug 08, 08:19:52
"Yeah, I'll tell you about as much truth as the people who wrote that fucking bible!" :D George Carlin was the best comedian and thinker, thanks for all the laughs and making me think about things. :)

R.I.P George Carlin ...
By: Fragmaster158. on 06 Aug 08, 00:08:03
R.I.P George Carlin we will miss you!

this guy is god!!
By: rlnuco. on 27 Jul 08, 06:51:45
this guy is god!!

great
By: romanpaskin76. on 15 Jul 08, 08:54:00
great